Are You An Emotional Terrorist?

Do You Often Blow Up People’s Emotions To Gain a feeling of Self- Importance?









Do you seek to manipulate the people around you by using emotional blackmail or withholding of love?


Most people including yourself are subject to emotional blackmail as the withholding of love or sex are used as a tool of tremendous power.


Everyone, from the tiniest child to the biggest and most fearless individual falls prey to the emotional hunter at some point in their lives, simply because we open up to caring for or loving someone.


The better your self-esteem, or in other words, the more you love yourself (not an egotistical love ) determines the amount of power other people are able to exert over you. As a child we are desperate to feel loved, in fact it is said that, babies which receives no contact on their skin, may die off it.


Love withheld from parents, is like a life sentence imposed on a child, and  similar in any relationship one’ partners deliberate use of this power can destroy the other individuals entirely , being it a sister , brother, spouse or even just a close friend.


It acts like a double edge sword, the more the people love you the more vulnerable they are, in fact the same manipulation has little or no effect on anyone you cares little for you or whom has a healthy self-esteem.


So why do some people do this awful thing,? They learn it at home, generally from their parents, who learned it from their parent. How do you get someone to do something they don’t want to do?  You tell them you love them and then threaten to withdraw that love.


In many relationship the withholding of love comes in form of not wanting to speak, being silent is one of the worst punishment anyone can impose on a child. Ignoring someone, acting like they are not there at all, Telling them you don’t love them anymore, because of what they have done, taking away privileges, solitary confinement, being sarcastic, judgmental. or moody


Everyone as mention before,  has an inbuild deep emotional need to be recognized and loved and when parent want their children to do something specific it seems an easy way of getting thing done.


However parent do not understand that using this form of manipulation destroys the child’s sense of feeling safe in their inner core and is extremely difficult to get it back once destroyed. It can take years for that person to ever trust anyone human being again.


Some children quickly learn of this power and starts at first to exercise it on their siblings (sisters, brothers) and later in live on their school mates, partners, co-workers, bosses and eventually even back on their own parents.


It’s like a disease, it spreads like a wildfire and is extremely difficult to contain and ruins millions of relationships around the world every day. Remember, nothing ever last forever and when your “victim” recognizes you for what you are, an emotional terrorist, they will  vote with their feet and leave you.


If you recognize that you are one of those who are using this emotional manipulation, you must stop it immediately for no other reason that the universal laws are very specific, in that “you get what you give”.


Religion puts it as “Do Onto Others As You Will Have Others Do Onto You” and there is no escaping this law- The Universal law of reciprocity


So, if you want to be good, and we all do. Then take the time to learn something important. You are not able to control anyone (not for long anyway) except yourself and you must learn to become worthy of respect and trust by being consistent.


If people can’t count on you for being consistent, and  they never know where you are e.g.  Sometimes you support them and other times you blow them up, they learn never to trust you and therefore will never truly respect you.


To be successful in relationships you must be trustworthy, dependable and fair. If you can do that, people will follow you and if not, you will walk a lonely path. Its really not that difficult; “To have a friend, be a friend“.


By Nick Struan

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